The daily mask

The mask. You know,  the one you put on everyday you wake up. You lie in bed for that extra hour staring at the ceiling or the glimpse of sun streaming through the curtains. Wishing,  hoping for a better mood or another sunset instead of sunrise. You sluggishly crawl out of bed and make your usual breakfast which used to get you going for the day. Now is just a necessity for living and part of a routine. Still choking behind a mask which hides the cry for help underneath.

Your dressed and managed to make work in one piece. The nerves and sick stomach feeling stay for majority of your day.  You feel on edge more than ever before and try to tolerate strangers whom irritate you in slightest ways.

Job well done you have finished work and the mask has lasted another day for now. You feel satisfied so you let your guard down for the end of the day. However you did not see the tide coming with the sunset. The hours spent alone give you too much time to contemplate. Your mind can be a dangerous place to wonder for too long. What were you thinking you were going to do? Relax?
Of course not!

You cant be content for long you have to feel overwhelmed and alone before the days through. Lets just add in a few bouts of dizziness with that lack of breathing between scrunched tearful tissues. The mask is transparent and does not last 24hours in your world. Behind closed doors you feel safe to let go and show how you really feel inside through river worth of tears. You start to question how much is it possible for one person to cry so much? Where does all this salty tasting water come from?
Should I call for help? Why can’t I just magically have someone here instead of asking?    
Why cant I run away and enjoy life with no one to spoil my mood and keep busy in my own way. A retreat to a peaceful place to do yoga, meditate and bush walk to smell fresh air away from here. Away from people that make me nervous, confused, and wishing to have a life like theirs.
I know my bump in the road is very small compared to most they feel their road is divided and completely hanging in the balance.  I am blessed to have support around me and understanding my temperament at this time in my life. I am grateful for that.

I wish someone had answers for me or an antidote for sadness and confusion.

So please if you know someone is having a hard time or struggling emotionally and mentally please dont Say you understand unless you completely do…or say its all going to be alright- because we wont believe you at the time…or say itll be over soon…or whats wrong? Because if we knew ourselves we would have dam well done it by now to fix things. Unfortunately some of us are stuck in a hole whilst others around us live freely in the sun. Be weary of the ones around you and just be ready to listen. Yes you may not hold the answers we want to hear most but certainly don’t try make sense of our world..its far to warped for a normal mind to comprehend.              

With compliments in advance,

Girl behind the mask


Living beautifully and do we do that?

What truly makes us happy and complete? Many search their whole lives to feel this euphoria of being settled, and content with all aspects of life. For many of us we thought we found it at some point and in the balance we lost it. This time between happiness is a blur and sometimes may seem forever and dark. Its cruel to treat yourself as a stranger and feel empty…Emptiness is neither fun nor sad to feel, your just stuck in space. This space is your galaxy and what you explore and venture to is completely up to you. Yes, you may feel like your an abandoned astronaut stuck without your craft. You may feel like this astronaut in times of trouble and you have lost your way.


These times of overwhelming isolation overtakes all your feelings, cares, motivation and completely changes your perception on life itself. Depression and anxiety is exactly this.

You may question where did it start to go sour? Why me? Why cant I be ‘normal’ again.

You. Are. Not. Alone.

Its difficult for many to ask for help or let your guard down for anyone to realise something is not right. This is an opportunity for getting a step ahead of your black holes in the galaxy, and reach the stars for help. These stars may not know what to say or do to make you feel better but the relief of the pent up thoughts and emotions may help you breathe.

Many people find a way of letting go of stress and anxiety through various methods; eating, exercising, writing, listening to music, shopping etc. However a small feeling of greatness comes through not just helping yourself but others. What feelings do you get once you helped someone who really needed it, or going that extra mile to put a smile on someone’s face. The trick n peoples lives is most of us don’t stop to think twice about what a person may be dealing with in their lives behind their smile. I would like to show you an excerpt from a great book in regards to this message:

‘With the warrior commitment we gradually become a vehicle for connecting others with their unfettered mind, with their intrinsic goodness, so that they, too, can begin to embrace the groundlessness of being human as a source of inspiration and joy. Our wish for all beings, including ourselves, is to live fearlessly with uncertainty and change. The compassion and kindness required for this are limitless, but we start with whatever we have right now and build on that.’

Chodren, P, (2012). Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change. 1st ed. USA: Shambhala Publications inc.

In an overview, I guess my message would be to treat all with kindness. Make a goal for each day, for instance, I would aim to make everyone smile and happy with my friendly demeanour at work and ultimately receive praise for making someone’s day. Yes it has worked many times. However there have been many days that I was ‘not ok’ felt like that astronaut in space whilst on my way to work and had to force a smile. These days do occur but when your in this environment you have to stick it out and it is no excuse to take it out on those who do not know how your feeling. Take a step back and breathe and focus on just getting through those hours. Yes, your body and mind will not agree and its ok to have some days off to recover. Life is still here the next day and you cant run every time, unfortunately, we all go through pain. Life is a test, for you and me to conquer in our own ways. Many believe our paths our chosen for us, personally I believe we are guided and ultimately we choose our own way. Its our attitude that helps us or deters us from decisions and opportunities, either way everything happens for a reason. Why cant you be the reason to change your life?


Many people you will meet have either battled with depression or will in some stage of their life. Its a scary prospect the alarming numbers of people facing difficulty in this world we live in. Be mindful of others and be someone’s reason to smile and live fully. If you cant then I only ask that you be the reason for your own happiness, find whatever will help you cope (in a healthy way). My new found helping form of medication is writing my feelings. Hence this blog. I hope I have shone some light onto a topic that is very much a grey matter in our lives. Depression and anxiety awareness is rising although there are still many people who are not supported or feel trapped by their circumstances with fear for asking for help. Together we can help others and ourselves by making this area turn into a widely open discussion.

There are many helplines and websites to help you in the right direction to a willing listener for your health. Below is a few links to different organisations (not all):

Thank you,

Girl lost in space

Images : from google search engine